Tough. But Redeeming.

Weird sleeping habits accompany tough times, I suppose. 4 hours of sleep the night Bean left, an emotional day, and lots of work made me sleep for 11 hours the night before last (maybe the hot bath just before bed helped?)... which apparently prevented me from sleeping more than 5 1/2 hours last night! Surprisingly after a long night in the office and waking up just after the crack of dawn, I'm feeling refreshed! I'll take advantage of this lovely morning's inspiration by blogging, I suppose! The beautiful landscape that this PhotoBooth photo does no justice for accompanies the clicks of my teclado typing--birds chirping, a fresh breeze rolling off the mountains and over the ponds, in through my open window that Bean once blogged in front of. Bittersweet, but oh so precious!

Yesterday was hard... Not quite as emotional, frenzied, distracted, or all over the place as the day before (the 14th, when Bean left), but not without its tears either. I finally pushed myself to get more organized, prioritized, have some goals and a timeline set straight, communicated with my colleagues (though I'm not sure how well, based on the fact that I've been having a hard time slowing my thoughts to formulate coherent sentences--in any language--these days!). I've figured out how to de-stress a a bit and pass on what I can to others (after figuring out for myself just what that is, and how to most efficiently delegate).

I even got some Skype time in with beloved buddies yesterday evening, before spending several hours in the late-nighttime solitude of the office to feel the accomplishment of getting stuff straightened out without any interruptions. Talking and hearing about other peoples' lives really helped as well. I feel like I have to go through valleys like the last several days in order to truly feel on top of the mountains, looking back at it all... thinking, seriously, this has been tough, but look at my view and perspective from the peak!

I'm feeling a lot more on top of things now. And though the to do list is still growing longer as I organize myself and think clearly about what needs to get done, I'm finally beginning to check stuff off as well, which is such a good feeling!!

Anyway, that was all just a long commentary all to say that I think the prayers for clarity from loved ones are paying off. I feel a sense of boldness that drives me to be honest with myself, and others, regarding what I can and can't do, which is helping to lighten the load as well.

I think I just had to get past the stage of having so much on my mind that I couldn't focus on anything at all, or formulate sentences other amidst my gasping tears the other afternoon. I'm feeling God's power and strength come through and feel more optimistic.

I'm ready to enjoy these last couple of weeks as much as I can! Here's to continuing to check things off the to do lists (yeah, there are five categories of them)!