1. There is no way one
should be bored in an airport these days. Between the aid of technological devices (be
they laptops, iPods, iPads, cell phones/PDAs/smart phones, Kindles—in their
various capacities, and more!), in addition to good, old-fashioned books and
just plain-old people watching, how can you complain of boredom!? I figured I
would share some of my observations from today’s travel…
- Man at security, as I'm taking off my shoes and coat and sending my jacket and properly separated liquids through the security x-ray machine: (very energetically and bubbly for 5:30am) "Good morning, miss! Are you ready to step right up here and go through this archway now? I like your braid (my hair is side-braided across my head). Come on through now. That's right. Congrats. You passed." I love happy, jovial people like that, so I let him know that his energy and amiability was appreciated.
- Ticketing desk airline agent: "Those at Gate 26 who are flying to LA: This flight is TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY full! I am surveying the waiting room for the Alaska flight, operated by Horizon, heading to LAX , and I quickly observe a number of 'carry on' items that will not fit in either the overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you. You may not take a roller carry-on in addition to an oversized duffel, which WILL NOT fit under the seat at your feet. Only one carry-on is allowed in the overhead compartments. [Shooting deathly laser-bullets from his eyes in the direction of specific perpetrators sitting around me.] Before boarding, please check your bags and make sure that this little neon tag is attached to them, so that you may collect your baggage at plane side when you reach LA..." When looking around, sure enough, there were several people with oversized "carry-on" luggage PLUS duffel bags, in addition to personal items of purses and backpacks. Thank goodness I'm only carrying on a small backpack, which can be stored at my feet! And hopefully my one carry-on sized piece of checked luggage makes all my connections (it has sharp tools in it that I'm taking back to CR for the art students, so I had to check it).
- In the San Jose, CA airport (heading out on my first of 3 flights today): the emergency-only exit door by my gate was opened repeatedly, thus repeatedly setting off the obnoxious buzzing sound and accompanying flashing alarm. Just like our alarms at the CRC. Nice noise at 6:00am. Always. :)
- Conversations overheard in the airport during travels today… (This is a fun game to play that I hope to continue recording in future travels. Conversations taken out of context are the best.)
- “You know, they won’t eat you if you wash your whole entire body with that sterile, unscented medical soap bar every day for a week before you come.”
- “That is NOT nice. Do not hit your sister. Say sorry Asher.”
- “’Da lady don’t fit in ‘da wheelchair!"
- “Outta the way, large passengers coming through!” (It was one of those airport vehicles with the beeping and flashing lights that go through the middle of airport aisles from gate to gate.)
- “…Asher, over here!”
- “Caden, what are you doing here? Don’t you have classes today?” To which the reply was, “I figured if I was going to play hookie, I should do something rad.”
- “I was like one of the originals of a Fortune 500 business… you know, when there were just 180 of us. I left a decade later, when there were 35,000. People think I’m still one of the young guys. But I’m 40 now. But I was one of the originals, ya know? …Now I recruit employees and I like to get the ‘normal people’ unnerved and, like totally out of their minds. I like totally freak them out by telling them things like how we have cameras in every room of the offices—we really do. So that way people know when their friends have checked in to work and then it’s like the party can begin in the office, ya know?”
- “Asher, we’re boarding!”
- “Have I been out of the country for three days? What does that mean?! I haven’t even been IN the country yet! I’ve never been there before!”
- “I can’t hear him over the buzz in my ears. What did he say? They don’t have bottled water? I need water with my frozen yogurt!”
- “65 days? Yes, that’s within 90 days."
- “Just go around those people who are unprepared and holding up the line. Yes, I’m the ticketing agent, I have the authority to let people cut when they are waiting in line behind slow-pokes.”
- “This is a legally-binding contract, but it also represents spirit. You cannot force it.”
2. Boarding planes is
never boring:
- Transport between terminals: buses, trains, elevators, or your own two, rapidly-moving feet. Sometimes such a confusion. Out of security, international or domestic?, back in through security (security is a entirely different topic, for another post)
- Boarding priority: Goldmember access, priority passenger, VIP, disabled, those with children, unaccompanied minors, first class, Zone 1/2/3/4/5 etc., unless there is a rush to ensure my carry on a place in the overhead bin, I’d just as soon wait to board a plane and cramp my sitting room. Why not wait to be the last passenger on?
- You have to love boarding planes on the tarmac. Usually the puddle-jump flights. The crisp, chilly air of a 6:40am commuter flight to LAX, just outside of the terminal.
3. There is no way you
can get bored on the flight itself:
- People: especially the ones in your immediate vicinity—whether it’s…
- Entertaining and cute children (or fussy kiddos or crying babies)
- Nice neighbors who strike up interesting and engaging conversation (I met an international businessman on my flight from San Jose, CA to LAX this morning) poorly-behaved older travelers (complaining, nothing’s ever right, etc.)
- Conversations overheard of those nearby, unfortunately sometimes including loud talkers (Phoenix to Costa Rica, I got to hear—even through the buffer of my ear buds—the various conversations of a man two rows in front of me. Hours of conversation to be overheard—however interesting it may be—I am hearing it whether I want to or not!)
- Smelly people (a man on one of my flights today had the worst breath emanating from his open mouth as he slept. Thank goodness it was only a one hour flight from LA to Phoenix, as it was hard to tolerate the smell of his reeking clothing in such near proximity)
- Getting your seat throttled or thrashed or kicked or abused by the person sitting behind you--oftentimes by a child, but also by adults.
- Look at the backs of people’s heads in front of you; you’ll be surprised to connect their voices and then their faces as they turn around, walk down the aisle to go to the bathroom, or collect their luggage from overhead bins at the end of the flight.
- When it all boils down and you’ve landed and are leaving the plane, bidding your fellow travelers farewell, just take a deep breath to cleanse and sigh out all that was obnoxious of fellow passengers who, while sometimes you wish you could boot them out the emergency exit at 32,000 feet, really are entertaining…
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| I tried to discreetly snap a couple images with my iPod of a situation I found comical while in the San José, Costa Rica airport upon my departure on Feb. 15. (I'm not sure who was more comical of the character subjects in these images...) |
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| Can you see the hippie in the background, to the left of this lady reading her Kindle? |
- Scenery!
- I love clouds! Cloud formations are fascinating! At some point in my life, I want to study Nephology.
- Crop circles, deserts, rivers and lakes and other bodies of water, mountains and volcanoes, cities (you can observe a lot about urban planning!), and more. New lands are entertaining!
- I could look out of an airplane window for hours without tiring! Forget the people that surround you—even if it’s a famous politician, hippies, a team of incredibly ripped and good-looking latino professional futbol players, a businessman Joe Schmoe, an endearing elderly couple, a woman with her dog, or a supermodel—the scenery out of a plane window is always breath-taking and astounding. I don’t think I can ever get bored looking out of a plane window.
- And then, when all else fails, take a snooze or if you’re antsy, pretend like you have to go to the bathroom and just hang out at the back of the airplane (or if you’re super bold, go up to the bathrooms in the front) and perform the recommended stretches and exercises that are often found in the seatback pockets during trans-oceanic or international flights.
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| Phoenix is so clean cut upon aerial observation. Suburbia! |
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| Mountains just outside of Phoenix. |
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| More of the geography just outside of Phoenix. |
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| Crops, as seen in flight somewhere in between Phoenix and Texas. |
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| More crops. |
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| What I am guessing to be reservoirs and/or mining in Arizona area? (Also see image below.) |
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| Dusky skies, as seen over the puffy clouds, about an hour before landing in San José, Costa Rica this evening. |
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| Sunset as seen over the puffy clouds, about an hour before landing in San José, Costa Rica this evening. |
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| Sunset as seen over the puffy clouds, about an hour before landing in San José, Costa Rica this evening. |
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| LAX tarmac/runway... or was this in Phoenix? Can't remember. It's all a blur. |
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| Phoenix, I think? Either taking off or landing. (They all sort of run together, and I can't really see these small images well enough before publishing to write this caption.) |
Maybe I should have blog posts dedicated to the observations of air travel. So many people understand, sympathize, and rejoice in shared nuances—commonplace or not!
Clouds clouds clouds :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, that alarm was very obnoxious. I thought you meant IN the airplane. But either way, bu hao!